JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
