I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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