One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize