then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize