There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
