I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
