either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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