omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
