help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
