Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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