i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
