I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize