do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
