sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
