She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
