well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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