At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Houston, we have a squirter
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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