I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
