I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
