I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
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I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn