I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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