Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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