i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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