Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
