You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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