You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
