No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
