just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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