Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
