i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she looked like the before picture.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm too high and old for this...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
