The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
