Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
