I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
50% drunk capacity currently
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
