so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
