.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
