just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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