Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you are never too drunk for berry picking
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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