did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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