I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I will be naked everywhere
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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