Duck Duck Cougar?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
