dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
