Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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