How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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