i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize