if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
