Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
