Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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