Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
