We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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