so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
