it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
