he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
