so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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