His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize