The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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