Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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