Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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