what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
